The Secret to Pleasing Everyone
Want to know the secret to pleasing everyone? It all comes down to one simple idea…
You won’t. It’s that simple.
If that feels scary for you, that’s ok.
Humans are hardwired for connection, so it makes sense to feel fear of not being accepted.
On the other hand, we don’t want to stay stuck in that fear, or let that fear cause us to abandon ourselves in the futile attempt to gain universal approval.
So what can we do to work through those feelings?
Below are four things we can consider to move through those feelings and help us stay true to ourselves:
1 - Understand that someone's perception of you is not necessarily accurate. A person's perception of you is their truth - not necessarily your truth, not necessarily the truth, but their truth. And while their truth is valid, it is limited because it is based solely on their perception of you, which can vary from person to person based on a variety of factors unique to them.
2 - Understand that your worth is not defined by anyone else. Because someone's perception of you can result from a variety of factors unique to them - including their past experiences, conditioning, etc. - many of those factors may have nothing to do with you. Why place your worth in the hands of someone who doesn’t appreciate you for reasons that may not even have anything to do with you?
3 - When in doubt, ask yourself the question, “Have I done my best in this given situation?”. If the answer is ‘yes’ then you have done all you can do. If the answer is ‘no’, then you can hold yourself accountable (with compassion & honesty) by reflecting on your actions & intentions & learn from them so you can choose differently next time.
4 - Spend more of your time & energy with those who do appreciate you and less time & energy worrying about those who don’t. Don’t rob yourself of precious moments spent with people who appreciate you by worrying about those who don’t. Nurture the relationships with people who allow you to feel seen, heard, respected & supported by being fully present with them & reciprocate those same feelings to them.
While it is also important to establish a better understanding of why we have the tendency to people please to begin with, hopefully these four tips can help you move through those scary feelings of disappointing people, offer you a little confidence boost and piece of mind when that happens, and most importantly, serve as a reminder that your worth is not defined by anyone else but you.
PS - Are you ready to stop people pleasing, learn how to say ‘no’ & set healthy boundaries so you have the time and energy to nurture your relationships and work toward your personal and professional goals? My Unlock Your Truth 1:1 coaching program can support you in the process by helping you build confidence, reclaim your self-worth, reach your goals & thrive in life & relationships by embodying your true self. Book a complimentary discovery call with me to find out more about how I can support you.
photo cred: Madison Oren