I Almost Lost My Sh*t, But Didn’t: How Somatic Healing and Nervous System Regulation Helped My Relationships
Have you ever found yourself in a heated disagreement with someone close to you? You know, the kind of situation where emotions run high, and you feel like you're about to lose your sh*t?
If so, you're not alone. I've been there countless times and until recently, I didn't have an effective way to handle it. (and have in turn, lost my sh*t in the process)
But then, something changed.
Let me share with you a little story about one of the times I almost lost my sh*t but didn’t – and how it completely transformed the way I approach conflicts in my relationships.
It was just like any other day when a disagreement arose between myself and someone close to me. As the conversation escalated, I could feel myself getting more and more agitated. And then, it happened – they hit one of my "hot buttons." In the past, this would have been the point where I lost control, where my emotions took over and rationality flew out the window. But this time was different.
In that moment of heightened tension, I remembered a tool from my somatic awareness toolbox that I decided to try. I paused and took a deep breath. I tuned into the signals my body was sending – the tightening of my chest, the clenching of my fists, the rush of energy in my body that typically comes up right before I’m about to lose it. My body was telling me I was about to lose my cool and for the first time, I listened.
And then, instead of reacting impulsively, I asked for a moment to collect my thoughts and calm down. I think my exact words were something to the effect of, “Hey listen, I feel like I’m about to lose my sh*t right now and I want this conversation to go well, so I need some time to calm down before we continue this conversation so it can end constructively instead of destructively.”
Creating that space between stimulus and response was powerful. It allowed me to regulate my nervous system, regain my composure and bring my thinking brain back online so I could approach the situation with a clearer mind. Instead of escalating the conflict, we were able to have a constructive conversation. This allowed us to not only address the issue at hand but also to mend and nourish our relationship instead of causing further harm.
I can't emphasize enough the impact that somatic healing and learning how to regulate my nervous system has had on my relationships. Not only has it helped me to establish safety in my relationships, but it has also given me permission to feel my emotions, it has helped me build more confidence in how I process my emotions, it's offered me the opportunity to feel compassion for myself when I'm feeling activated, and it's also allowed me to build self-trust to act in a way that best serves me and my relationships more authentically.
So if you find yourself in a similar situation, where emotions are running high and you're on the brink of losing your cool, I invite you to take a moment to pause, breathe, and listen to what your body is telling you. You might be surprised at the difference it can make.
Hope this was of benefit!
-Franchesca
PS – This is one of countless examples of how somatic healing can help you thrive in your relationships and live authentically. If you’re ready to take the next step toward a more confident, empowered, and authentic version of yourself and build lasting confidence, rediscover your self-worth, and navigate the path towards authentic living so you can thrive in all aspects of your life, I have 4 spots open for my Unlock Your Truth 1:1 coaching program. Click here to learn more and book a free call to chat more about how I can support you.
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