The Hard Truth About Changing Your Mindset & Living Authentically
Today I want to share a bit of a hard truth.
It's something that makes so much sense to me now, but I didn't always think of it in this way.
You see, before I learned about somatic work, mind-body integration and nervous system regulation, I was full on riding that "change your thoughts, change your life" bandwagon.
And for those of you who are also riding that bandwagon, let me be clear: Thoughts and mindset DO play a vital part in transformation and living authentically.
But it's not the whole story.
Here's where the hard truth comes in: We can try to change our mindset all we want, but If we don't feel safe in being our true, authentic self, we won't be.
Why? Our nervous system plays a huge part in it.
When you think about what fuels the actions that block us from our authenticity, you'll most likely find that fear, in some way or another, is behind those actions - and when fear is what's fueling those actions and we don't feel "safe" in being our true self, our body and nervous system will respond accordingly as a form of protection.
Our autonomic nervous system has 2 main agendas – safety and connection - and when either feels threatened, the nervous system responds with survival patterns in an attempt to keep us "safe".
This can include maladaptive patterns, ranging from anything such as people pleasing, lack of boundaries, outsourcing our worth for approval, perfectionism, etc. to others such as lashing out, rage, disconnecting from self & others, etc.
And while these patterns may have done a beautiful job at keeping us safe thus far, they don’t necessarily serve us in our path to living authentically and thriving in life.
All of this is important to consider because when our nervous system responds to a real or perceived threat, there’s a part of that process that turns the whole “change your thoughts, change your life” on its head.
When our nervous system kicks into gear, our prefrontal cortex - the part of the brain that “serve key cognitive functions related to social, emotional, & motivational aspects of behavior” including working memory, problem-solving, emotional regulation, personality, inhibition of inappropriate actions, & emotional & social reasoning – goes offline, as the parts of our brain geared toward survival kick into gear. (PMID: 22486116, 34881727)
So, while working on mindset is important, mindset alone isn’t very effective at creating lasting change. Getting the nervous system on board and integrating mind and body however, is.
This is why establishing safety in being our true, authentic self is vital; but first, it's important to understand what the driving forces are behind our fears.
When we create awareness around the driving forces behind our fears and why we might fall into these patterns, this can support us in finding that balance of feeling "safe enough" to move through those fears and offer an opportunity to create experiences that can reassure us that we can be authentic without anything bad happening. One way we can practice this is with the safe & supportive people in our lives who encourage us to be our true self.
So, today I invite you to reflect on the following question: "What's causing me to not feel safe in being my authentic self, and what's one small step I can take today to feel a little safer in doing so?"
Hope this was of benefit!
-Franchesca
PS - Enrollment is opening soon for my Truth Embodied 12-Week ONLINE Group Intensive. Be the first to gain access for enrollment and join the waitlist. In this transformative online 12-week group intensive, we’ll work together to discover how to reclaim confidence and self-love, cultivate a better understanding of what keeps you from living authentically and acquire tools that can support you in embodying your truth.
PSS - I am only opening 25 spots for the next cohort for this program. Once those spots are filled registration will close, so be sure to join the waitlist to gain advance access for enrollment.
PSSS - I know it's a lot, but I also just finished my ebook, '7 Steps to Unlocking Your Authenticity', which in part, talks about safety in being authentic. Want a FREE copy? Click here.
Photo cred: Uday Mittal