The Futility in Worrying About What Other People Think

“We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.” - Virginia Satir

The following scenario reminded me of something I read a while back that drove home the futility in worrying about what other people think of me:

20 people are standing in front of you. You say only one sentence to those 20 people at the same time. Despite them all hearing the same thing at the same time with the same exact tone, volume, expression, etc. there will be 20 different interpretations of that same sentence - and those interpretations are based on how they received the information due to a variety of factors unique to them.

Some may be drawn to you, either by how they interpreted the sentence, or for another reason, like you remind them of someone they admire. On the flip side, others may be irritated by you, either by how they interpreted the sentence, or for another reason, like you remind them of someone they have conflict with.

The point is, how they received the information and interpreted it is THEIR truth - not YOUR truth, not THE truth, but THEIR truth.

And while their truth is valid, it is limited because it is based solely on their own interpretation of the experience.

Of course, that doesn’t mean we get a free pass to mow all over people. We should still take ownership of our intentions and actions. The acronym T.H.I.N.K. is one I find to be particularly helpful:

T - Is it true?
H - Is it helpful?
I - Is it inspiring?
N - Is it necessary?
K - Is it kind?

Another question I’ll ask myself is: “Have I done my best in this given situation?”

Do I always get it right? Nope. That’s when I work to own my intentions/actions so I can learn from them.

But even when you’ve done your best, your best will not be “good enough” for some people – and THAT’S OK.

Because, a tough but simple fact in life is you will not please everyone; but what’s even tougher (and exhausting) is abandoning your true self in a futile attempt to gain universal approval.

So, don’t let yourself be defined by the limited perceptions of people. Keep doing the work and continue to be the best version of YOU.